Sunday, September 30, 2007

This would be irony.

I have been so behind on my blog reading, y'all, and even further behind on commenting and responding to comments. Ironically, at the beginning of the month, SAHMmy nominated me for the Nice Matters Award!

Okay, I'm a little embarrassed, because here's what SAHMmy said about me:

Lori, Queen of Dirty Laundry because she always takes the time to respond to your comments on her blog with an email! This is one busy lady, but she finds time to let us all in on the fun!

AHEM. I love responding to comments, I really do! But I have a confession. I respond much more often to your comments if you have the box checked that allows me to reply directly to you. Read this post or this post if you need a little help.

And to my commenters who have checked the box but haven't heard from me in a while, I'm sorry. I have been trying so hard to get my house organized (and succeeding little by little!) that I haven't taken as much time as I'd like to "socialize." But I'm getting caught up, I promise.

Now, to whom should I pass this lovely title?

Katherine at Raising Five - She writes such honest and relevant posts about parenting and her walk with God. And her sweet, encouraging e-mails always come at just the right time!

Laura at I'm An Organizing Junkie - Again with the encouragement! Laura has found her niche, and I don't think she realizes how many people she inspires by sharing her enthusiasm for organizing with the rest of us. And her e-mails are like little cheerleaders in my Inbox!

Kristen at Diary of a Shoe Addict - Kristen writes such cute and entertaining posts, engaging her readers in fun questions and conversations. She cares about her readers, and it shows. She's living with a myriad of physical challenges, yet posts regular prayer requests for others.

Kristin - The Redneck Diva - Kristin has become such a close friend over the months! She's caring and sweet, she cheers for me when I deserve it and whoops my butt when I need it. That's nice in my book!

All right, y'all, that's about all the nice I can handle right now. Time for me to go yell at some kids. Wink.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Advice Forum Friday - Easy Meals?

UPDATE: I've actually installed the Mr. Linky. Sorry; I had a brain fart last night.

Happy Friday, y'all! This week has certainly been up and down, that's for sure! I've thought of at least five things that I wanted to throw out to you for advice. Now to just remember one of them...

Okay, I've got one. I'm having a drought in the kitchen department.

Here's how it usually works with me. I cook something, it's great, and so I cook 10 variations of the same meal for the next month. I love it, but my family...not so much.

For example, we went through a stage where I was making grilled sandwiches (let's just call 'em panini, okay?) at least three nights a week. Reubens, ham and cheese, roast beef and grilled onions...oh, and more cheese. Finally Big Daddy put his foot down and said enough with the sandwiches.

More recently, I made a great little appetizer with bread machine roll dough, and suddenly I can't stop making dough, wrapping it around stuff and baking it. Again with the putting down of the foot.

So what I'd like you to tell me is this: When it's 5:00, and you haven't thought about dinner yet, and you're lazy (which I know you're not, but I am, okay?), what do you cook? What's your go-to meal for easy and quick? Besides Mac and Cheese, cause I've got that one down, too.

Also, if you have something you need advice about, please go ahead and post about it at your blog, being sure to link back to this post and sign Mr. Linky down there. It doesn't have to be domestic; it can be financial, relationships, parenting, spiritual, anything. What's on your mind, Blog Land? Let us help!

Bargain Bonanza!

Folks, I have never been very fortunate in the bargain-getting department. A friend will tell me she found kids' t-shirts on sale for 1.38 at Wal-Mart, and when I get there, they're either all gone, or they're 3.84. Or, "Hey, they just marked down these great tops at [insert your favorite store here]!" When I get there, they're either nowhere to be found, or they're 25% off. Y'all, I scoff at 25% off. I need it to be at least 50% off, or it's not worth my trouble

I do have pretty good luck at CVS and Target, though. They're always putting health and beauty items on clearance, and I check for them every chance I get.

Last week, I saw a set of Calphalon at Target that was marked down from 179.99 to 129.99. What's that, 30% or something? I scoffed. Then yesterday, I saw the same set, marked down to...drum roll, please...44.88. That's right, boys and girls, I got that bright, shiny set of Calphalon for 75% off. You can't even get the cheap stuff for that price! Sure, it's the Target line of Calphalon, but still...SCORE! It's like this Kitchen Essentials® from Calphalon® 12-pc. Styleware Cookset - Black that I found at Amazon.

What's really great about this is that we've been looking for a griddle. At Target the least expensive ones are 19.99. Y'all, I got this whole set for a little over twice that price.

As my girls would say, "I'm so excitick!"

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Works For Me Wednesday - Containers

Y'all, I'm involved in an unhealthy obsession. With Sterilite #1695. And I get them at Dollar Tree. For a dollar.

I'm in love.

Guys, I go to Dollar Tree about once a week, and I almost never leave without two or three of these bad boys. They are the perfect size for CDs, DVDs and XBox games. They stack. They have a flat bottom and will nicely hold an assortment of Children's Tylenol bottles. They have handles and all those nice little holes, so they are easy to grab and carry, even for uncoordinated female minor children.

I can see 8 of these little loves from where I sit right now.

They contain:

Kids' computer games
My computer CDs
Music CDs
Crayons and glue
Pooh's reading books
Tink's reading books
Flash cards
And the last little piggy went empty, but hopes to be filled soon.

So, am I a container geek? I believe so, and I blame Laura. And I thank her.

Be sure to go on over to Shannon's and check out the more mentally balanced tips and tricks.

Now I have some containers to fill. And don't forget to come back and see me for Advice Forum Friday, ya hear?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Shoe Review - Keds vs. Buster Browns

For years, my girls have worn Keds leather T-strap tennies. They go with almost everything, never wear out, and are oh, so easy to clean, either with a wipe or just by throwing them in the washer. Seriously, we hand them down to friends when they no longer fit, and they still have tons of wear left in them.

This past spring, when Tink and Scooter grew out of their Ked's T-Straps, we went on a search for new ones. In the past, we've found good prices on them at Famous Footwear and Kohl's. This time when we went to Famous Footwear, we found Buster Brown T-strap tennies that were identical in appearance to the Ked's we've always bought. And they came in a Wide, which works better for Scooter. So we bought them.


Y'all, they hardly wore those shoes at all during the summer! Yet three weeks into the school year and they're falling apart.

So. Back to Keds for us. Or cheapos at Payless, Target or Wal-Mart. At least then I don't mind so much when they fall apart.

Dancing With The Stars

I'm dishing on Dancing With The Stars here. Won't you come tell me what you think?

Monday, September 24, 2007


Okay, so I'm not organizing the bathroom, cause I'm busy being neurotic over here. I need some perspective, so please feel free to comment. Just be sweet, okay?

So one morning last week, Tink begged to wear an old pair of Skechers that's still hanging around. I was pretty sure they were about a half size too small, and I questioned her nine ways till Sunday, but "No, they feel good!"

Well, apparently that same day, after the shoes had kicked her butt, she was limping. And the school counselor saw her and checked the fit of her shoes. And Tink told her they hurt. And today Tink comes home with a new pair of Skechers from the school counselor.

Y'all, I am so embarrassed. SO EMBARRASSED. Tink has a brand new pair of Keds in her bedroom right now, and they are a perfect, if loose, fit. But she insisted on wearing those dadgum worn out Skechers, and now I'm sure we're on the "Can't Clothe Their Kids Properly" list.

And no, I'm not gonna call the school and ask what the deal is, because then I'll be on the "WE AIN'T TAKIN' NO CHARITY!!!!" list.

And y'all, they're cute shoes, but OH MY GOODNESS, have I mentioned that I'm embarrassed?
Talk me down, friends. Talk me down.

Oh, and p.s., Scooter just ate a computer disk cover. Welcome to my world.

UPDATED TO ADD: My dad called and provided me with a voice of reason. He suggested I take the shoes back and sweetly, oh so sweetly let the counselor know that Tink has plenty of shoes, thank you, and was just stubborn that day, and we don't want to send her the wrong message by rewarding that with a new pair of shoes, now do we? But thanks. Really.

I'll probably wait until Parent/Teacher conference day, cause I'm a wuss like that.

Kickin' butt and takin' names

I haven't been around here much the past few days, but y'all, I have been getting so much done in my house! Usually, my spurts of ambition last for about 2 hours, but this time I've been going strong for around 3 days. I am oh, so proud of myself.

I organized Pooh's school area in my bedroom, so she doesn't have to sit on my bed or at the kitchen table to do her work. She's so excited, and keeps on arranging and rearranging her school supplies. At 3:30, it will also be Tink's homework station. I'm excited, too.

Also, my kitchen counters are clear and clean. This is huge, y'all. I have a tiny kitchen, and I often leave things out because it's just easier than cramming them back where they go. But I've been getting more and more organized in the kitchen, and it's getting easier and easier to keep things clear.

I have to tell y'all, reading Laura's blog, I'm An Organizing Junkie, has provided so much inspiration for me, both little spurts and over the long haul.

And now, I'm off to pick up Scooter at school so I can come home and organize my bathroom. I'm actually looking forward to it!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Blogging TV

I've posted about The Biggest Loser, Survivor-China and Beauty and The Geek on my Entertainment Blog.

Check it out!

It's Pink, and It Sucks Dirt!

Y'all, I need a Dyson. Or maybe I just want a Dyson. But either way, LOOK AT THIS! Those crazy gals at 5 Minutes For Mom are bringing us YET ANOTHER Dyson Giveaway. What's really cool is that part of the proceeds from all sales of this vacuum go to to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

And I want it. I want to be the lucky lady who gets this free Dyson Pink All Floors vacuum.

So, enter if you must. No, go ahead and enter. Really. I mean it. Cause my in-laws who are no longer speaking to me bought me a vacuum cleaner just last April. But it's not a Dyson. But that's okay. Really. Go ahead.

And good luck.

Emergency Response?

Y'all, I don't know why this bothers me, but it does. I'm not very in touch with "breaking news," but this morning I heard about a huge protest in Jena, Louisiana. Apparently there are thousands of people from around the country, demonstrating in support of six black teenagers initially charged with attempted murder in the beating of a white classmate.

That's not what bothers me. I am neither disagreeing nor agreeing with the protesters, their cause, or their right to protest.

What I have a problem with is this:

Red Cross officials manned first aid stations near the local courthouse and had water and snacks available. Portable toilets and flashing street signs to aid in traffic direction were in place.

Uhm...what? I don't really see where this is a National Disaster. The website of the American Red Cross says this about their mission:

Today, in addition to domestic disaster relief, the American Red Cross offers compassionate services in five other areas: community services that help the needy; support and comfort for military members and their families; the collection, processing and distribution of lifesaving blood and blood products; educational programs that promote health and safety; and international relief and development programs.

Hmmm...I just really don't get it.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Day Has Come!

Well, actually it's come and gone. Cause I'm a day late. But still.

It's here! Monk & Neagle's lovely CD is now available to the public. So go buy it! Cause it's one of the best things I've heard in a long time.

I e-mailed all of my friends about this one, and everyone who's listened to the clips online LOVES it! I think you will, too.

You can get The Twenty-First Time CD here.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Big Brother - Final Two

For those of you who are Big Brother fans, here are my thoughts on the Final Two.

Advice Forum Friday

Happy Friday, y'all! It's time for another Advice Forum Friday. My goal this week is to have more than one person sign the Mr. Linky with an Advice Forum post. Who's got a question for us?

My dilemma this week is this: I hate tee-tee. It doesn't bother me so much in a toilet or in a diaper, but on clothes or just makes me cringe. And I have a daughter or three who are not very sanitary. No matter what I do or say, the situation is not improving.

One of my girls has attachment and emotional issues stemming from things that happened before she was adopted, for which she's in counseling. And when she's upset or extremely stressed, she has an accident. I understand why this happens, and she usually wears pull-ups to bed, but when she does it during the daytime, it skeeves me out. I try to keep my reaction to HER and my reaction to the mess separate, but sometimes the lines blur. It seems to me that in the cleaning up of the mess, the soiled items of clothing and/or bedding TOUCH EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE, causing widespread contamination.

I've just realized that this is bordering on a phobia for me...well, not so much a phobia, because I'm not scared of ur1ne, it just grosses me out. So what do you call that?

At least two of my three girls also have a problem with...uhm...leakage. They wait too long to go to the restroom, and their underthings suffer for it. Have I said ICK? And so far, nothing I've said or done has helped them. Is this just a girl/kid thing, and I have to live with it, or what?

So, my dear friends, to recap, what I'd like to know is...

Am I a big freak?
Is there hope for me?
Do your kids have these hygiene issues?
If so, how do you handle it?
Do YOU have these reactions?
If so, how do you handle it?

So there you have it - you now know that Lori is a big freaking freak. But I'm sweet, so don't run screaming, okay?

And now for a run-down of how to participate in Advice Forum Friday:

To GIVE ADVICE, comment here.

To GET ADVICE, write a post at your blog telling us what advice you need.
In YOUR post, link back to THIS POST.
Come here and sign the Mr. Linky.

If you've ever participated in Works For Me Wednesday or Menu Plan Monday or any of those, it's exactly the same procedure. If you have a problem, e-mail me and I'll try to help.

And finally, y'all have a great Friday!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Rockin' Rocketfish Giveaway

5 Minutes for Mom is at it again! The girls over there bring us the very best giveaways, don't they?

This time, we're talking about a Rocketfish Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard and Laser Mouse. I know you probably don't need one, but I do, so if you win, you can just send it to me, right? ;>)

Go check it out!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Works For Me Wednesday - Lazy Ironing

Y'all, I hate wrinkles. But I also hate ironing. Ordinarily, when I'm doing Big Daddy's and my laundry, I take everything straight out of the dryer and hang or fold it.

But sometimes my family helps. So last week, I dumped out a basket of what was supposed to be clean towels, and I was sad to see a badly wrinkled pair of pants and T-Shirt.

Some people might just throw the pants back into the hamper and re-wash them, but I also hate wearing out clothes unnecessarily. Yeah, I'm a mess.

But I did I mention I hate ironing? So guess what I did. I folded the pair of pants very neatly, and I put them on my desk chair and laid a towel on top of them. And I sat on them for a day. And all the wrinkles came out. Magic.

I draped the T-shirt over the back of my desk chair, and after a couple more days it was wrinkle-free, too.

So, sitting on my clothes instead of ironing them. Works For Me. Now hurry over to Shannon's and find some more rational tips. And be sure to come back here for Advice Forum Friday.

Oh, and check out this post, and do exactly as she says. Please. It would make me oh, so happy.


Monday, September 10, 2007

Just in time for Christmas!

It seems the older I get, the faster time flies, and I'm determined to be ready for Christmas this year! One of the things I'm trying to do this year is start buying Christmas gifts a little at a time, beginning today.

Those of you who already have most of your Christmas shopping done, please come to my house and clean it. It's not like you have anything else to do, right?

Last year I did about half of my shopping for the girls online, and I scored some great deals at Amazon, Kohls, Wal-Mart and LeapFrog...all dot com.

This year, my first gifts of the season were purchased at They have some great stuff, some awful stuff, and some okay stuff. But the wonderful thing is, it all costs the same - Free+5.99 shipping. I bought lots of Christmas gifts from them last year, and was very pleased with the quality and customer service.

I have to warn you, though, that for me at least, the site is addictive. So you may want to have someone to pull you away from the computer in case you can't stop. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, and in the interest of disclosure, this is not a paid post. But I am an affiliate, so I get two bits or four bits or something if you make a purchase through one of my links. But YOU get pretty, shiny silver jewelry! So everyone wins, right?

Go check it out!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Giveaways of the Week

I'm going to update this post throughout the week as I come across fun giveaways. Scroll down to check for newer posts.

Go here to get a Free subscription to NewsMax Magazine. You can just say no to all the other offers. Now that I'm on this mailing list, I get offers for free magazines all the time. I currently receive at least 5 free magazines a month. This is the link I received by e-mail, so please let me know if it doesn't work.

Adventures in Babywearing is giving away a $50 gift certificate to Vincent Shoes. Here are some of my favorites. I'm in!

Friday, September 07, 2007

Baking Class, Dirty Laundry Style

Big Daddy and I went to a gathering tonight, and we needed to take some snacky stuff, so I decided to go economical and make something with food we already have in the house. Until I get to the grocery store (tomorrow?), that’s not much.

I got out the bread machine and went through my recipes. I am so bad about not following recipes exactly, so here’s what I did. I have a recipe for “Cinnamon Sugar Nuggets” that uses canned bread stick dough. So I found a dough recipe and made that in my bread machine first.

Remember on I Love Lucy when the bread knocks the door open on the oven? Yeah, mine popped the top up on the bread machine while it was rising. I grabbed it out of there to take to my “floured surface,” but I forgot to have floured hands. OOPS. Gummy dough hands. A little warm water took care of that.

Then we flattened out the dough and cut little nuggets to roll in the sugar and cinnamon. And the dough kept growing. So we rolled out little circles and wrapped them around some pepperoni and cheese. Yum. And we still had dough left over. So finally we cut some more nuggets from the remaining dough, and poured melted butter over them, and tossed them with Parmesan cheese and garlic. Those were my favorites.

Oh, and we heated up the kitchen so fierce that I skipped glistening and went straight to sweatin’, y’all. I haven’t used my oven in a month, for that exact reason, but today I made an exception. And had to take another shower because of it.

But dang, people, those nuggets and pepperoni roll-ups sure did taste good!

And since I never use a recipe exactly right, I’m just gonna tell ya how to do this in case you wanna.

Find your favorite roll recipe and make the dough, either in the bread machine, like I did, or the old-fashioned way if that’s how you roll. (Pun intended. Sort of.) After it’s risen, pat your dough out to about 1 inch thick. Use a knife or pizza cutter or whatever and cut long strips, then cut those into 1-inch squares.

Oh yeah, get a plastic container with a lid, and put some sugar and cinnamon in the bottom.

Throw the 1-inch squares into the plastic container, and then when you get tired of cutting, put the lid on there and shake it up until all the nuggets are covered with cinnamon and sugar.

Then cut some more 1-inch squares and put them in another plastic container. Drizzle melted butter over them, and then pour in a truck load of Parmesan cheese and garlic salt or whatever seasoning you think sounds good. Put the lid on, shake it up, blah, blah, blah.

Place the nuggets on a lightly greased cookie sheet and cook until you think they’re done. I think we did 375 for about 8 minutes.

Now, look at the remaining dough and think of other things to do to it. You could take ping pong ball-sized…uh…balls, roll them out flat and put all kinds of good stuff on there, then roll it up. Pepperoni and cheese, ham and cheese, brown sugar and pecans, little smokies, some fruit preserves, whatever sounds good. Lightly greased cookie sheet, 375 until it’s done.

There you have it, boys and girls. Baking class, Dirty Laundry Style.

Advice Forum Friday - uh...UPDATE!

Okay, y'all, I'm committed to presenting you with Advice Forum Friday until someone starts participating.


And I'm also committed to bringing you the bizarre truth that is me. 10 minutes ago, I had a brilliant topic for Advice Forum Friday. It has something to do with kids, and it's not complaining really, but here's the thing.

I can't remember what it was. Yeah, I forgot.

So I'm putting this up there for all two of you who read it, in hopes that someone has a question this week so my Mr. Linky won't sit there all empty.

And I'm gonna take the girls to school and hope that I remember what I was gonna post. Then I'll come home and update this sucker.

UPDATE: I never could remember what I was gonna ask this morning, but I came up with another while in the shower.

I'm looking for a facial moisturizer. Here are my criteria:

I DO NOT want this to feel oily or greasy on my skin. You know when you hear someone say, it doesn't feel oily, it just feels soft and silky? Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.
I have 40-something skin.
I need to fight wrinkles.
I need to buy it at Target, Wal-Mart, CVS or Walgreen's.

And now, bring us your burning questions! Kids driving you crazy? Can't figure out what to cook? Having a problem with the vacuum cleaner? Post the dilemma on your blog, being sure to mention and link back to this burning brilliance, and be sure to sign the Mr. Linky down below.

And pray that I figure out what I was gonna talk about today.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Do you ever...

Do you ever get a brilliant idea, like to have a big party and invite all the coolest kids, and then once you've committed yourself, you freak out?

Because what if they laugh at how little my house is, and my kids' rooms don't stay clean, no matter what, and that the only place for the kids' computer is in the living room, and my kitchen is the size of their master bathroom?

And what if my house smells like dogs and I don't realize it, and what if my fun party food is really stupid?

And what if the smell from the air conditioning leak doesn't go away in time? And what if all the stains don't come out of the carpet?

Yeah, me neither.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

WFMW - Velveeta, Dr. Pepper, etc.

Hey, it's the Brand Loyal edition of Works For Me Wednesday. Today I'll be talking about those Brands From Which I Cannot Be Swayed. I think I'll do this list-style, if you don't mind.

Velveeta - Come one, now. Kroger brand Nice 'n Cheesy? You've gotta be kidding. I need me the real thing for Rotel dip, easy mac and cheese, and miscellaneous casseroles. And also for a killer, artery clogging grilled cheese every now and then.

Which brings us to Rotel Tomatoes. You can use Pace for the Rotel Dip, but then it wouldn't be Rotel Dip, would it?

Mayonnaise - Kraft or Hellman's. I tried Archer Farms once. Tasted like Miracle Whip. And by the way, get this - I used to love Miracle Whip, and now I can't stand it. I guess my taste buds are getting old or something. Big Daddy insists on Miracle Whip now, so it's a pain when we make sandwiches.

Pace Picante Sauce - This is Big Daddy's preference, not mine. But I live to please, so I buy him the Pace.

Cottonelle Ultra - Have you seen the new kind that's ribbed, instead of with little squares? It's heaven on a roll. BD and I used to go back and forth; he liked Cottonelle, I liked Quilted Northern Ultra. Until he came home with the ribbed kind of Cottonelle. I converted immediately. What's weird, though, is that sometimes it's still the quilted squares, and then I'm sad for a week.

Hebrew National Hot Dogs - You know that since they're kosher, there's nothing really gross in there. You can't say that for Bar S.

Mrs. Baird's Large Loaf White Bread - Best white bread in the world. I like a nice, crunchy wheat sometimes, and I'll use french, rye, or sourdough for a fancy sandwich. But for a good old PB or Bologna sandwich, it's gotta be Mrs. Baird's White.

Degree Deodorant for Men - Big Daddy refuses to use anything else. Not the clear stuff, though, just the white.

Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper - I go through way too many 2-liters every week. I drank Diet Dr. K for a while, but I got a bad batch once, and I refuse to compromise now. I can not function if there's none in the house.

That's all I've got for now, but I think I'll come back and update as I think of more. In the meantime, go on over to Shannon's and see what's non-negotiable for everyone else.

And don't forget to come back on Friday for Advice Forum.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Am I a Mean Mommy?

Do you think it's mean of me to insist that my 4-year-old stop calling me "Uh, Mom?" I don't care if she calls me Mommy, Momma, Mom, or Hey you. I just want her to stop putting "UH" in front of it.

Too much?

Laughter and Tears

In honor of Labor Day, and in a cheap rip-off of DeeDee's post, I present to you an assortment of insurance statements I encountered as a transcriptionist. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say, "HUH?"

There was the old widower man who was trolling for women at the roach motels on the bad side of town. He had lots of "friends," and every now and then they spent the night at his house. He knew they were "crack hos," but he was "just trying to help them out."

And this particular CH kept stealing his car, but he kept on finding it. And he kept on letting her come back and stay at his house. And slept with his wallet and car keys under his pillow. But I guess he was a real deep sleeper, cause the last time she got his wallet and car keys and took his car, and he never saw it again.

The Claim Rep says, "Well, Mr. Widower, why did you bring her back to your house, after she'd stolen your car before?" And Mr. Widower says, "Well, I'll tell ya, I was just lonely. And I was trying to help her out."

That one made me very sad.

Sometimes I had to stop the tape to laugh, and sometimes I had to stop the tape to cry.

The saddest one to me was a guy who was driving along the service road at night. He was looping around under a bridge when an entire family, pushing a stroller, stepped out in front of his car. I don't know how many fatalities there were that night, but I can still hear that guy breaking down on the tape.

There were some fatalities that were tragic, but the insurance claims were misguided. A little boy drowned in a pond at his babysitter's property, while his mother was there and supposedly supervising him. The mother decided to file a claim against the babysitter.

A lady was walking alongside a float in a parade, which she had been warned against. She tripped and fell under a trailer and was killed. Her husband filed a claim against the owner of the trailer, and against the city that held the parade.

How about some strange thefts?

"Mr. Homeowner, why did you have $100 bottles of Cristal hidden in the attic of your $40,000 house? And how do you think the burglar knew to look up there for them?"

"Miss Homeowner, can you provide a receipt for the Rolex that was stolen? Or explain how you paid for it while working at McDonald's?"

And I've saved the best for last.

My all-time favorite was a guy who traveled to New Orleans to make money after Hurricane Katrina. He bought two utility trucks to take with him (you know, the kind with toolboxes on them, or some kind of towing equipment, or whatever), and rounded up a couple of friends/acquaintances, and they headed down to New Orleans to get rich. They camped in church parking lots, they stayed in abandoned houses; they slept wherever they could.

He met up with other guys there, and from the sounds of it, everything was very loosey-goosey. This guy was letting people he didn't even know take his $100,000 trucks for days at a time.

But here's the clincher. The insured guy's marriage was falling apart, so he came back home to Texas, AND NEVER WENT BACK. And a few months later, he reports those utility trucks stolen and tries to file an insurance claim.

The Claim Rep says, "Well, how do you know they were stolen?" And they insured guy goes, "Well, I'm sure they've been stolen by now. I left 'em parked in the Walgreen's parking lot, and the last time I talked to Joe, he told me they weren't there any more."

Y'all. The guy left his trucks in New Orleans and never went back to get them. And then tried to file a theft claim. Brilliant.

Lovin' this right now...