Friday, September 14, 2007

Advice Forum Friday

Happy Friday, y'all! It's time for another Advice Forum Friday. My goal this week is to have more than one person sign the Mr. Linky with an Advice Forum post. Who's got a question for us?

My dilemma this week is this: I hate tee-tee. It doesn't bother me so much in a toilet or in a diaper, but on clothes or just makes me cringe. And I have a daughter or three who are not very sanitary. No matter what I do or say, the situation is not improving.

One of my girls has attachment and emotional issues stemming from things that happened before she was adopted, for which she's in counseling. And when she's upset or extremely stressed, she has an accident. I understand why this happens, and she usually wears pull-ups to bed, but when she does it during the daytime, it skeeves me out. I try to keep my reaction to HER and my reaction to the mess separate, but sometimes the lines blur. It seems to me that in the cleaning up of the mess, the soiled items of clothing and/or bedding TOUCH EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE, causing widespread contamination.

I've just realized that this is bordering on a phobia for me...well, not so much a phobia, because I'm not scared of ur1ne, it just grosses me out. So what do you call that?

At least two of my three girls also have a problem with...uhm...leakage. They wait too long to go to the restroom, and their underthings suffer for it. Have I said ICK? And so far, nothing I've said or done has helped them. Is this just a girl/kid thing, and I have to live with it, or what?

So, my dear friends, to recap, what I'd like to know is...

Am I a big freak?
Is there hope for me?
Do your kids have these hygiene issues?
If so, how do you handle it?
Do YOU have these reactions?
If so, how do you handle it?

So there you have it - you now know that Lori is a big freaking freak. But I'm sweet, so don't run screaming, okay?

And now for a run-down of how to participate in Advice Forum Friday:

To GIVE ADVICE, comment here.

To GET ADVICE, write a post at your blog telling us what advice you need.
In YOUR post, link back to THIS POST.
Come here and sign the Mr. Linky.

If you've ever participated in Works For Me Wednesday or Menu Plan Monday or any of those, it's exactly the same procedure. If you have a problem, e-mail me and I'll try to help.

And finally, y'all have a great Friday!


Anonymous said...

Hi! I'm new here and don't have a blog, but hope a comment will count towards your goal!

I'm a mom-to-be, and don't have any experience with adoption or potty issues, but I wonder if solving the potty issue quickly first (change clothes, quick bath, or baby wipes) then focusing on her feelings and giving her a chance to settle down. I get a bit squeemish about silly things too- don't feel guilty about just throwing in her soiled items in the wash alone. If it makes you both feel better, its worth it, right?


Shel said...

I have two girls who are pull up wearers at night, so I feel your pain. I am not as grossed out as you seem to be but still. I have a four year old who occasionally has accidents, and so we have wet clothes here some days. I guess my best advice is to pray about it. I know that sounds simplistic, but I realized a few years ago, that I yelled when frustrated. My daughter then yelled, when she was frustrated. I didn't like that at all. I decided that I had to change for her to change. I prayed for wisdom, and patience, and reminders to not yell. God answered and I am blessed to say that I yell less, and my daughter does too. I also would remind you that it is not that bad, it is mostly water, ammonia, and some waste products. All things that were previously ingested or byproducts of your body in action, so it really isn't something to have a phobia about. Don't sweat the small stuff. My mom always says. Perhaps if you make it a smaller deal the girls will feel better about it. It may be a control issue. It also could be stubbornness, or just head in the clouds type of stuff. The first time a friend comments on it, you can bet they will learn a lesson.

Milehimama said...

I do have similar issues. My 8 and 6 yo still wet the bed. My 9 yo has hygiene issues sometimes (usually, not wiping)

The bedwetters - got pullups and goodnights. Bought clear vinyl from WalMart craft department, duct taped it to their mattress (the water proof pads that they sell just didn't hold up!). Odoban kills 99% of germs in fabric. They have a slumber bag (makes making the bed SO MUCH easier!) and a fitted sheet, so it's not a huge ordeal to change the bedding.

My son who won't wipe when he's having issues - we make him scrub the undies out in the sink. Not as a punishment, very matter of fact as part of learning to take care of himself. If he can't wipe sometimes, then he's going to have to learn to clean it up even if it's not his fault.

Then I bleach the sink!

SAHMmy Says said...

You're not a freak! Or at least I'm at least as freaky as you! My son started putting his hand down his diaper when he was around 10 months old. Boys will be boys, thought I. But guess where his hand was each and every time he pooped? That's right. Stay with me. So until he was 2 1/2 I had watch him like a hawk lest he trail his poopy hand throughout the house. I still have a mini panic-attack whenever I get a whiff of something, um, tee-teeish. We potty trained him backwards--I could not have cared less if he peed on the carpet 5 times a day, as long as we got #2 under control. As far as personal hygiene goes, I've told my husband that I have no problems wiping my son's bottom until he's 7, if that's what it takes to prevent the dreaded skidmarks. I'll homeschool him if I have to; I hate dealing with poopy aftermath that much. Sorry no advice; just empathy!

shoeaddict said...

If they have leakage, take them to the doctor. I also agree with the milehimama about the bedsheet.

Kelley said...

According to Wikipedia, urine is generally considered to be sterile, (although it may pick up bacteria from other body parts on its way out). The ancient Romans used urine as a bleaching agent for cleaning clothes, and, supposedly, a few people in what is now Spain used it as a teeth whitener.

I realize this doesn't help your problem at all, but I thought it was interesting anyway.

When we got toward the end of potty training, I got my daughter a mattress pad that has vinyl or plastic on the underside of the fabric. At least that saves the mattress.