Thursday, September 11, 2008


Let me tell y'all something.

I'm sad today.

About 3 months ago I was accused of being mad and rude and offended and I don't remember what else, and it upset me. And I cried. And I tried to fix it. And I couldn't.

But I kept trying. Because that is what God calls me to do.

And for three months the person who accused me has carried a grudge and accused me of additional offenses and talked behind my back, and I have kept trying. Because that is what God calls me to do.

On a daily basis, I deal with anxiety and a chronic illness that is EXACERBATED by anxiety and stress. In spite of this, I have tried so hard to move out of my comfort zone to be kind and forgiving. I praise God every day for giving me strength to go down those hard roads.

And last night people sat in my living room and said it's not enough. This person said, point blank, "I'm not ready to let go of this. That's just the way I am."

What do you say to that? WHAT do you do?

And even as I was typing this, in my spirit I heard, "Stand. Having done all, STAND."

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

OOH, I do love my God.

And I'm not so sad any more.


Kelley said...

God would never "call" you to be responsible to fix another person's unforgiving spirit. Sounds like you've done & said all you can do & say. Leave the rest up to him. Even if the other person isn't ready to "let it go," doesn't mean you can't. Don't let them hold you hostage. You got it right: Stand.

WendyDarling said...


The homeschool group we used to belong to actually had this verse in it's by laws..

"15"If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

THIS verse is how Jesus teaches us to deal with conflict. It sounds like you HAVE gone to this person and apologized. If they were in your home it sounds like you had "witnesses." So, now the ball is there court, and they are CHOOSING to disobey God, not you.

I know it sounds really hard (and it is, because I have had to do), but you MUST let it/them go. Until they come to you, you have to let it drop, because it will do harm to you.

You are not responsible for "fixing" the situation, because you did exactly as Jesus commanded in Matthew 18. Now, God has to deal with them.

I am glad that you also found comfort in Ephesians. :-) GOD IS GOOD!!! So, take a breath, and move on. ;-)

WendyDarling said...

Sorry, I am under medication and just realized I spelled "their" incorrectly.

Jennifer said...

Oh dear. I am so sorry this hasn't been resolved and you are having to deal. You HAVE done everything you should do. It is truly now in their court and obviously their hearts haven't been dealt with yet. And sadly, there's nothing else you can do about it except pray for them - that they can resolve it in themselves before it is too late. Because unforgiveness is a terrible thing and it's sad that they don't have it. I understand it may be difficult to accept, but you have to let it go and not place any blame or guilt on yourself. I know how hard it is to know someone is holding something against you, it is a terrible feeling, but you've done everything you can do! However, I do pray that God will speak to them and soften their hearts and allow them to let it go, or else they are simply going to be miserable! (Whether they will admit that or not.)

Cricky said...

It's impossible to continue letting your heart and spirit take the beating.

You've done everything you have the power to do. It needs to be turned over to someone with more authority than you.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Yo, Lori, I don't know the situation, I respect you for not rehashing all the dirty details online. Anyhoo, it sounds like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I am only guessing here... you are a person who not only hates conflict, but also doesn't want anyone else to have conflict either. So I'm guessing you are trying to smooth this over all by yourself. I GUARANTEE that if you forget about it and be your usual bubbly sweet self, that other person will be all WTF? and she will go crazy trying to figure out why you're so nice to her all of a sudden. She'll wonder, why aren't you as mad at me as I am at you??? And it will drive her nuts. But, more importantly, I believe that if you say to yourself, every day, I forgive that person, even if it's only 3% true today, it will be 5% true tomorrow, and the day after that it will be 7% true, etc. So if you keep with it, keep forgiving (even when she doesn't want forgiveness), eventually you will come to peace with it. Her peace is up to her.

Peggy said...

I used to worry myself sick if someone else was upset with me. But as I have gotten older, I realized that I only have to make sure everything's OK between me and God - and if that's the case, then other people just have to deal with it.

Of course, that means that I have to be sure I've done everything He has instructed us to do to fix things. But the hardest part for me was not continuing to worry after I could do no more.

So, you've hit the nail on the head: Having done all, STAND

God bless.

binks said...

Girl - that was just amazing!
That Ephesians verse is one of my favorites.
I am humbled by your wisdom.

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

I just feel like the luckiest blogger in the world right now. You guys have exhorted me, encouraged me and comforted me over the past 24 hours, and you can't know how each one of you said EXACTLY what I needed.

Thanks. From the bottom of my heart.

Oh, and Kelley, that photo you're using now? Rocks.

Amy @ Experience Imagination said...

Just sending a (hug)!