Saturday, May 17, 2008

Dream Interpretation, Anyone?

Y'all would not believe the dream I had last night. I don't even believe it myself.

Here are a couple of highlights:

We're in an abandoned spa/restaurant/whatever the heck.

Who's WE? I don't know. There were several people with me, but the only one I'm certain of is me.

So this spa/restaurant/whatever was open for business yesterday, but today it's deserted. So WE decide to go forward with business as usual, as best WE can.

This snooty guy is asking for certain vintages of wine, and since I only drink Boone's Farm, Jack Daniels and frozen girly drinks, he's oh, so out of luck. I'm trying to write down what he says, but he's very pretentious and says it too fast for me to catch.

Then WE can't find the diners, but maybe they're dining in the wine cellar, which is where? I don't know.

The next thing that happens is this big, honkin' body builder guy comes in like he's been there a hundred times, so I try to act like I know what I'm doing. He goes down a hallway, which I realize is the tanning section.

I can handle this.

I find the controls to the tanning junk, match the number on his door to the controls, and turn it on. Then his door swings open, and I see his big ol' body builder booty. Unclothed. But I close my eyes very quickly.

I promise.

I realize that the booth he's in is the spray-on tanner, and hope it's working properly. I go back to the front desk.

The guy comes out into the hall, griping about something, covered in some kind of green goop, and I wonder if this is how the spray-on stuff works but since he's wiping it off, I suspect it's not.


OOPS.

P.S. Y'all, he is TOTALLY nekkid.

And here's the best part.

There's a big blurred circle covering his business. I promise.

IN MY DREAM I censored the nekkidness.

Aren't you proud of me? I'm very proud of me. Aren't you?

4 comments:

beckyjomama said...

I know nothing about dream interpretation, but I do know funny.

And girl, that was some kinda stinkin' funny!

Hubby is looking at me like I have lost my mind - which is a distinct possibility!!

Jennifer said...

OH. MY. WORD. That is totally hilarious! Censored dreams - too freakin' funny!
I don't know anything about interpreting dreams...but maybe lay off the spicy food before bed? LOL!

I had some really crazy ones last night too, but I don't remember very many details. However, of the few I do remember, I do know there was no censoring at all!

Amy @ Experience Imagination said...

Truly laughing out loud!!

Quirky said...

I've always been partial to the black bars myself, but blurred circle does the job too. Funny stuff. I laughed out loud.