Country Wedding

This story is reprinted here with the permission of My Friend and Former Co-Worker, who shared it with me.

Here is the story in her words:

We are in the back yard of my aunt's manufactured home for my cousin's wedding. The maid of honor showed up after the wedding and the best man had on a short set with a pager and a cell phone. I had on a short set and Patrice had on a sun dress.

The archway was between 2 trees and we stood up for the entire ceremony.

The wedding reception was 5 feet away from the archway in front of the shed.

The dj's booth (cd boom box) was on the table next to the wedding cake and liquor.

This girl was the girlfriend of the grooms friend (not invited) and called one of my cousins a b---- while we were all dancing and having a good time. She then bumped into my CRAZY ex-con cousin and called her a b again. My cousin walked away and the girl followed her and called her a b again. My cousin then lost it, and I mean LOST IT. My cousin was going to hit her with a gallon bottle of gin and the other cousins stopped her.

When my cousin finished with this girl, she had pulled her blue pony tail off of her and the kids were playing keep away with it. The police had taken her to jail for assault and battery and disturbing the peace, and she did not have her pretty new blue pony tail to take her mug shot with either.

Y'all, this really happened. I've seen pictures. And when I asked My Friend and Former Co-Worker for clarification, she responded as follows:

That was the 2nd wedding where we were in the street and the preacher was late and the archway was being held up by 2 house plants. We were in the middle of the street for the ceremony and we had hot metal chairs in the dead heat of summer.

You can't make this stuff up.