Ah, the exuberance of youth!

Pooh: I didn't know Angelo was a country in Africa!
Me: Huh?
Pooh: I didn't know Angelo...Angela...uh...Africa...
Me: Angola?
Pooh: I didn't know Angola was a country in Africa!
Me: Yep.
Pooh: THAT'S AWESOME!

It's AWESOME that Angola is a country in Africa?

Seriously.

I may be a bit catty tonight.

Weekend Update

Hey, y'all. Just wanted to say

HEY! I'm alive!

Obviously I haven't been motivated to post anything this week, and I'm not really sure why. I could beat myself up about it, and I'm really good at that, but it wouldn't turn back time and have posts magically appear, so...meh.

So what's been goin' on? A big old bunch a nothin'. Hence the absence of posts.

Let me see if I can bring you up to date.

Cooked.
Babysat.
Schooled the chirren.
Watched Big Daddy play softball.
Built an Advocare empire.
Hopefully cut off drama's head, once and for all.

Looking forward to?

Peace.
Some rest, maybe?
Seeing Fireproof.

Oh yeah, and 3 years ago today we finalized the adoption of two of our girls. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the other. I'd love to write a post about it, but every time I try I get all verklempt and nothing I write is coherent or makes sense. Stay tuned.

And have a great Friday, people. I'll try not to be such a stranger.

How's this for some irony?

So I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I've had just some VERY vivid dreams about stupid drama that's been imposed on our lives, as well as various aches and pains that keep me from getting good rest.

Last night (and early morning) I woke up several times, the last time being around 5:00. I remember thinking, "Wow, I sure wish I could sleep in, instead of getting up and getting ready for church." I do that a lot in the middle of the night; plot and scheme ways to get some more sleep. My plans rarely become reality.

Around 6:00 I woke again to hysterical crying, and stumbled into my bathroom to find Scooter throwing up. I tended to her, gagging myself, because that's how I roll, all the while thinking, "Hey, I bet she's gonna have to stay home from church."

But y'all, my scheme wasn't about wanting to skip church; it was just how to get in some more sleep. So now I'm awake, an hour early, tending to a sick kid, AND I don't get to go to church.

Explain to me how that's fair.

I should just change the name to All Scooter, All the Time.

Scooter's night-night prayer:

God, please help me to be good, and please watch over your little lamb.

Cause I'm your little lamb. All the other people are your sheeps. All the big people are your sheeps and the little peoples are lambs. And you are the shepherd.

And you watch over me.

Amen.

Real Life

Scooter5 is in private kindergarten this year at our church. I love that they have a memory verse to learn every week; it reminds me of when I was a little girl. We practice her verse every chance we get.

Here's a little exchange from our dinner table tonight:

Me: Children...

Scooter: Obey your parents...in the Lord...for this is good.

Me: Amen, sister.

Big Daddy and I exchange high fives, cause we're oh, so proud.

Scooter: And facuse me for tootin'.

That's real life right there, people.

They're on to me.

Me: Hey, Scooter, my foot is just screaming! Do you know what it's saying?

Scooter5: Is it saying for me to stop singing?

Me: Nope. It's saying for the cute little singing girl to come rub it.

Scooter: I can't hear it.

Me: Oh yeah, I can hear it.

Scoot: Tink7, can you hear it?

Tink: Nope.

Yeah, it was worth a shot.

Hey, We're alive!

So we didn't blow away! Kinda hard to do when the winds are 17 mph and the rain is BORING.

Yeah, Ike decided to veer right so it rained all day Saturday, and folks? That. Was. It. I'll admit I was a bit disappointed, cause I enjoy a good non-devastating storm, but we went on ahead and ate our Ro-Tel dip anyway. I mean, we went to all the trouble of buying it, might as well enjoy it.

The rest of the weekend? Also boring. Not much to report, but I did want to let everyone know that we survived the .24 inches of rain.

I'll be back when I have, OH, ANYTHING to say.

Oh, and Happy Monday!

Oh, there's a hurricane?

Hey y'all, I am a little dense sometimes. Didja pick up on that yet?

So I've been hearing about Hurricane Ike all week long, and I keep thinking, I really need to check into this and see what it means for me.

But it's been a dramapalooza over here this week, and I just never got around to it. Even though every time I turn on the TV, the radio, it's Ike, Ike, Ike.

Then last night, my Okie friend texted me, "Are y'all building your ark yet?" And I thought, How cute is she? Hmmm...I hope we don't get water in the house again like we do when it rains real hard cause those doofus developers built that new subdivision and now my house floods once a year. I really need to check a weather report. And even, you know, pay attention.

But I was SITTING IN A BOARD MEETING at that moment, so I decided to start paying attention to the topics being discussed, and Ike left my brain again.

This morning my friend was here and said, "There's supposed to be rain and winds up to 30 and 40 miles an hour." And I thought, Wow.

Y'all, I don't know nothin' about wind speeds. Seriously. No frame of reference. I Do Not Know What That Means. I'd really better check that out.

For those of you still involved in our saga, that brings me to now. Or 15 minutes before now, when I'm getting caught up at Google Reader, and I read this post at Big Mama. And I thought, That's almost exactly what I'd buy to hunker down in a storm. Except I'd find a way to make some Ro-Tel and Velveeta cheese dip, dadgummit. I've got my priorities straight up here in North Texas. They may be sissies down in San Antonio, but how you gonna ride out a storm without some Velveeta? Oh and also, I have GOT to check out a weather report!

So I checked the weather report, y'all. Yeah, uhm, Ike Likely To Hit North Texas as a Tropical Storm.

I've got to get to Wal-Mart before they run out of Velveeta.

Stand.

Let me tell y'all something.

I'm sad today.

About 3 months ago I was accused of being mad and rude and offended and I don't remember what else, and it upset me. And I cried. And I tried to fix it. And I couldn't.

But I kept trying. Because that is what God calls me to do.

And for three months the person who accused me has carried a grudge and accused me of additional offenses and talked behind my back, and I have kept trying. Because that is what God calls me to do.

On a daily basis, I deal with anxiety and a chronic illness that is EXACERBATED by anxiety and stress. In spite of this, I have tried so hard to move out of my comfort zone to be kind and forgiving. I praise God every day for giving me strength to go down those hard roads.

And last night people sat in my living room and said it's not enough. This person said, point blank, "I'm not ready to let go of this. That's just the way I am."

What do you say to that? WHAT do you do?

And even as I was typing this, in my spirit I heard, "Stand. Having done all, STAND."

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

OOH, I do love my God.

And I'm not so sad any more.

John 10:10

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Scooter's Prayer

God, please help me be good tomorrow at school, cause I know you want me to be good.

And Tink needs to 'cide, and Mommy needs to 'cide, and Daddy needs to 'cide, and Pooh needs to 'cide, and I need to 'cide...of You. Cause we need you.

I love you, God. Jesus' name. Amen.

Top Five Things

I saw the words Top Five somewhere on Twitter today and I was inspired to write a Top Five List.

Top Five What? Hmmm. Okay, Top Five Irksome Things This Week.

Oh, and I suppose I should go in reverse like David Letterman, huh? Cause I'm certainly as amusing as David Letterman, right?

*crickets chirping*

Whatever. Here are the Top Five Irksome Things in my otherwise idyllic life.

Number 5! Dogs sleeping on my head every night. Actually, just ONE dog - Bear. I suppose that's something to be thankful for then, isn't it?

Number 4 - Buster won't stop licking me. But at least he doesn't sleep on my head.

Number 3 - No matter how often I vacuum and sweep the kitchen, I still get crumbs on my feet when I walk barefoot. Ick.

Number 2 - My desktop computer is REALLY SLOW.

NUMERO UNO - Beloved friends have suddenly decided they don't like us, that we're the devil, and have set out to make our lives miserable with their drama. Nice.

Now, because this is a Happy Blog and I like Happy Things, here are the Top Five Happy Things to balance out the crap.

5. Our business is going GREAT!

4. It's raining today!

3. I bought two Magic Bullet blender thingies on clearance at Walgreens today for $15.49 each. That's a 75% discount, yo.

2. I found a wonderful online curriculum to use with my two big girls, and they are LOVING it!

1. We have friends who support us with prayer and spiritual wisdom when we're dealing with unpleasantness. Hallelujah!

God is in control, y'all. And I love him.

UPDATE: Nobody actually SAID we were the devil. Let's just say we're on their poop list.

The online curriculum we're using right now is Time4Learning. So far we really like it, and it's reasonably priced.

Sarcastic much?

Yeah, sarcasm might be a bit overused in our house.

Pooh: Mom, do you think we'll EVER be able to go back to Build A Bear Workshop and use my gift card?
Me: Nope. Never.

Tinkerbell: Mom, are you ever gonna make spaghetti again?
Me: Nope. Never.

Child: Mom, do you remember when you told me that we could go to Build A Bear after church on a Sunday sometimes?
Me: Yep. I remember. *crickets chirping*

I'm convinced that when Bill Engvall created his "Here's Your Sign" bit, he must have been inspired by the unnecessary questions kids ask.

Pooh: Mom, do you want me to put my shoes away?
Me: Nope. I want you to stand there all day long holdin' 'em. Here's your sign.

Scooter: (As we leave the house on a Sunday morning with our Bibles) Are we going to church now?
Me: Nope. Going to preach at the jail. Here's your sign.

I'm such a mean mother.

You know when you're driving somewhere out of the ordinary, and your kids get tired of riding, so they ask the famous question,

"Are we there yet?"

I just tell 'em, "Yep."

Cracks me up every time.

We're roaring down the highway and you're gonna ask me if we're there? As my Momma used to say, "Ask a foolish question, you'll get a foolish answer."