CAUTION: Rambling, neurotic motherhood crap coming up. Be Ye Warned.
Y'all, I think I might be an over-protective mother. And I didn't want to be, really. Let me clarify. I want to protect my children from physical injury, illness and life's big bumps, but I didn't want to be the kind of parent who interferes or is always making excuses for their child.
My Aunt Lulu raised some spoiled useless kids, because in her eyes, they could do no wrong. In trouble at school? "Well, that teacher has it in for her, bless her heart." Get fired from the job? "Well, he was only a little bit late, for heaven's sake." Yeah, every dang day! Quit his job? "Well, his nerves were so bad, you know."
So even though it's not Advice Forum Friday, please tell me if you think I'm becoming Aunt Lulu.
Tink has always had very good luck with teachers. Even in the beginning, when she was fresh out of a shelter, and behaved HORRIBLY at daycare, she had a teacher who really got her. Miss Lori was firm but understanding and kept me in the loop, so we could work together to help Tink feel safe, and at the same time improve her behavior.
Pre-K - GREAT first-year teacher who didn't take any crap, but was sweet. She went on maternity leave six weeks before school was out. Their substitute for the remainder of the year was Mrs. Holly. Not so sweet.
Kinder - WONDERFUL teacher.
1st Grade - I talked about Tink's teacher here. Unfortunately, she was in poor health, and in the first 4 weeks, missed several days of school before leaving permanently. Then there was another sub for 2 weeks, and now a permanent sub has been assigned for the remainder of the year. More on that.
So. My child who has issues with change because of her time spent in the foster care system has had at least 4 teachers in 8 or 9 weeks. Oh, and p.s., so has the rest of the class. So - they're crazy. Are you surprised?
Here's the deal. The substitute Tink had at the end of Pre-K was VERY rough. Even physically. So much so that another parent reported her for shaking and spanking Tink. And when the other kids in the class were asked about it, they said, "Oh, she didn't spank Tink. The only one she spanked was Christian." Nice.
Guess who my daughter's permanent teacher is. That's right - it's Mrs. Holly. Oh Holy Night. I have been trying and trying and even trying to be objective in this situation. I Mean It. But here are the things that Tink has been given bad marks (and missed recess) for:
Looking in her desk while the teacher was talking.
Getting her crayons out before the teacher told her to.
Having a messy desk.
Now look, y'all, I know my kid acts up. She talks too much, just like her Momma, and if she came home with a frowny every day for talking too much or running in the halls or kicking or talking back or etcetera, I'd sign that sucker and send it back without a second thought. And talk to her about her behavior. And make sure she corrected her behavior.
But a messy desk? You should have seen Pooh's desk AND locker in 1st grade - they were disgusting, and I corrected her for it. And while all the things I listed above may have been disobedient, did they warrant a "frowny face" or "walking the line" at recess? I just don't think so!
I guess I'm just frustrated, y'all, because Miss Holly just called me to tell me that Tink hurt herself at school, but she's okay. But she didn't just say,
"Tink fell and hit her head, but she's got ice on it and she's okay."
Oh, No. She had to say,
"Tink was scooting around on the benches, and she shouldn't have been, and that's why she fell and hit her head...blah, blah."
I just really feel like this lady is gunning for my kid. And the feeling sucks.
You know what, though? It's my job to stick up for my kid. I may have a little Aunt Lulu in me, but mostly I'm just a Mommy, and if a girl can't count on her Mommy to have her back, then what's she got?