Dancing With The Stars Results - April 29

Yo yo yo, come on over to the Entertainment Blog and dish about tonight's Dancing With The Stars.

I'm feeling much better now.

So yeah, I thought about deleting my previous post, but decided to keep on keepin' it real instead.

Big Daddy came home from work, we had a long talk and then told Scooter that she wouldn't be going to his softball game tonight since she needed her sleep. She sobbed sincerely, promised to do better, and accepted her fate.

So did I.

BD and the big girls have gone to softball, and Scooter is dancing to Le Freak and hanging up laundry. Instead of "Awww...Freak Out," she's singing "Awww...Peace out!"

I didn't even ask her to hang up the laundry - she saw it laying there and got busy.

And she's going to bed in 10 minutes.

It's a roller coaster over here, like in the movie Parenthood, and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

In which she eats humble pie

I'm having a motherhood meltdown, y'all.

And I'm about to whine and cry like a big fat baby, so feel free to bail right now if you need to.

I can't presently string two sentences together to make sense, so I'm just fixin' to start typing, and if you can make sense of it, great. If you can't, well then Welcome To My World.

I'm about to be done in by a four-year-old angel, people.
She's gorgeous.
She's friendly.
Her smile lights up the room.
She gets cranky when she's tired.
But she hates naps.
And she's a light sleeper.
She plays in bed for hours every night.
It's getting worse as she gets older.
She used to be a morning person.
But the fatigue is changing her.
And also changing me.

Cause see, Scooter isn't a bad girl.
But she has an attention span of about 15 seconds.
So if I give her a direction, she obeys.
For 15 seconds.
Then all bets are off.
I'm so tired of correcting and redirecting half the day.
I feel like the meanest old mother.
But the alternative is being the mother with the crazy, disobedient kid.

And here's where I eat the humble pie.
I may have seemed smug about my sweet, partially obedient children.
I may have believed that if I did it right, my girls would obey me.
For longer than 15 seconds.
But this one doesn't.
And I really don't know what to do next.

Oh, and p.s., I just twisted my ankle in the dadgum bathroom because I left clothes laying in the floor.
My fault.
Still hurts.

Dancing With The Stars - April 28

Hey, did y'all watch DWTS tonight? My random thoughts are over at the Entertainment Blog. Come on and tell me what you thought about tonight's show!

Partners

God, please help me fall asleep without playing tonight.
And God, please help me follow d'rekshuns tomorrow.
You and me, God.
You and me, we gonna be partners tomorrow,
All Day Long.
I just love you, God.
In Jesus Name I Pray,

amen

Hand-Me-Down Hazard

You know what, we LOVE hand-me-downs here at the Dirty Laundry house. With 3 girls to clothe, I never turn down an offer of used clothes.

But there are drawbacks.

First of all, there's always that sort-of-cute item - skirt, pant, shorts - that hangs in the closet for a year with nothing to match it. I search and search for a matching shirt, matching shoes or whatever, without success. But it's cute, so there it hangs, mocking me.

Hate that cute skirt.

Next - and this is what prompted my post this morning - is the shirt that I can't stand, but it was free, so we keep it. Without fail, this becomes some one's favorite shirt, and I cringe every time they put it on.

I know - I need to just sneak it into the rag bag when no one's looking, but I have an overactive guilt gland, which prevents me from sneaky acts.

Unless I'm at my wit's end, and then all bets are off. So look out, purple stripe shirt with glitter threads. Today may be the day of your demise.

DWTS and American Idol

Hey, guys! Posts are up on Dancing With The Stars and American Idol. Come tell me what you thought about tonight's shows.

Snark Alert

Hey, y'all. Apparently I'm still in a rank mood, so please do not be offended.

Please.

I just have to ask - what is the deal with

"Woo! I'm the first to comment!"
and
"Wow, I don't think I've ever been first before. WOOT!"

Who cares?

Do you care? And if so, why?

I just don't understand.

Help me.

Dancing With The Stars - Week 6

Dancing With The Stars was good tonight, y'all. Come on over to the Entertainment Blog and tell me what you thought!

Keepin' it real, y'all.

Big Daddy and I were tickling, picking and playing in the car on the way home from church this morning.

Tink: Mommy, I heard you screaming last night.
Pooh: Yeah, me too.
Scooter: Me too.
Tink: Did you hurt yourself or were y'all just playing?

I'm staring out the window trying not to bust a gut.

BD: We were having a tickle fight.
Me: Yeah, we were just playing.

I don't even know what to say.

Except that I really, really thought they were asleep.

More Than Words

I'm lounging on my bed with the laptop, and I just told Scooter, "Hey, go bring me the basket with the granola bars."

Her mouth said, "Of course I will."

But her eyes CLEARLY said, "Why do you need the whole basket of granola bars, you gluttonous THING, you?"

I mean it, y'all. It couldn't have been more clear.

For the record, the only reason I asked her to bring me the whole basket is so that I wouldn't have to spend 10 minutes describing to her which granola bar I wanted.

Really.

Life is Good

Here are some things that are making me happy, amusing me, and encouraging me today.

My 6-year-old dainty girl (Tink) burps bigger than her Daddy. She doesn't do it on purpose or make a big deal about it; it just happens when it needs to. I'm sorry y'all, but I grew up around lots of guys, and body function humor still cracks me up.

I'm still loving Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. A whole bunch.

Scooter (4) prayed all the way to school this morning. And it was a GOOD prayer, too! It's just a 5-minute drive, but still. Did this Momma's heart good.

The west side of my house has shifted back up a little, and now my bathroom door closes again! Go door! Now I don't have a little dog knocking the door open every time I go tinkle. He loves to knock the door open, come in to see what I'm doing, and leave. And he doesn't close the door on his way out.

Now I just hear him sniffing around at the bottom of the door. And I giggle.

What's making you smile today?

Got it?

Scooter: Daddy moved the thing where the thing were, and the other thing with the box by the thing with the wheels...and the box.

You don't say.

Incredulity

Tink: What are we gonna do outside?

Pooh: Daddy's gonna tell us what to pick up and Mommy's gonna mow the yard.

Tink: Who?

Pooh: Mommy.

Tink: {STUNNED LOOK}

Pooh: Daddy said.

Tink: Is Daddy gonna teach her how to do it?

Pooh: I guess so. It's for exercise, so she can get healthy and stuff.

Tink: Pooh, I don't know if Mommy should do that.

Pooh: Well, Daddy said she can, so I guess it's okay.

Keep in mind, people, that I WAS SITTING RIGHT THERE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION.

And then I came into my bedroom to blog about it, instead of going outside to mow the lawn.

But I'm on my way now.

I promise.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Sit down, 'cause it's gonna get exciting up in here.

I haven't posted in a couple days, and am uninspired.

Unfortunately, that means you get a laundry list of what's going on in my life today.

I've already taken worship folders and dropped them off at the church.

Stopped at my parents' house to help them print some photos. And listen to them bicker. AGH.

Bought a few groceries at the Little Wal-Mart. Specifically cookie dough, toilet paper, sodas and feminine annoyance products. In other words, the essentials.

Fed my girls cereals and bananas for lunch.

I still intend to:
Make jello with marshmallows. I've got to whittle down this basket of 15 boxes of jello.

Make pudding. Did you know they make Cookies and Cream flavor? THEY DO! I'll let you know how it turns out.

Bake cookies.

Vacuum. Maybe.

Probably.

Burn lots of candles to make my house smell less like an old dog.

Seriously, man. The older Buster gets, the more he stinks. And p.s., he is also very grouchy and we're wondering whether it's time for him to go on the long, long journey.

Before he attacks somebody. That's how cranky he is.

I'm gonna go ahead and admit that I got the idea for this post from Pioneer Woman, who is giving away a printer today and asked her readers "What are you going to do today?"

So thanks, PW, for the inspiration.

And in a shameless rip-off, I'm gonna ask my 13 readers, "What are you doing today?"

American Idol, people!

Y'all know the drill - I'm talking about American Idol at the Entertainment Blog. Come dish with us!

Dancing With The Stars - April 7

Did y'all watch Dancing With The Stars tonight? Cause I did, and my scintillating commentary is up on the Entertainment Blog.

They crack me up!

We're sitting here watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition from the DVR.

Well, Big Daddy and the two big girls are watching. I'm reading blogs. I can't really get into Extreme Makeover these days. I may be jaded.

I do like watching the reveal, though, and thank goodness, so I didn't miss this:

The lady walks into her master bedroom, which is gorgeous. She's alone.

Tink: Thank you, Ty, for not talking to her.

Big Daddy and I give her puzzled looks.

Tink: Well, if he was there he'd be saying, "Do me a favor and go look at your new room." I hate that!

She's right, y'all. She's right.

Good Customer Service

So I had to call Some Company to check on Some Business, and when the call was completed, the guy said "Thank you for calling Some Company. Have a nice day." And hung up. Wow, what a relief!

The last few times I've dealt with Customer Service Reps, it has been HECK getting off the phone with them.

ME: Okay, thanks. Have a great day.

CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON: Have I been helpful and courteous during our telephone call today?

ME: Yes. Thanks. Bye.

CSP: Have I answered all of your questions regarding Your Business today?

ME: Yes. Thanks. Bye.

CSP: Is there anything else that I can do for you today?

ME: Nope. Thanks. Bye.

CSP: Thank you for calling My Company, and please feel free to call us at 1-800-nevergonnaletyougo if you need anything else at all.

ME: DUDE! I know you're reading a script, and I hate to be rude, but I AM HANGING UP NOW! STOP TALKING!

The issue here is not whether my needs were satisfied. When I say Thank You and Goodbye, please say Goodbye back and Hang The Phone Up. Please don't keep asking me if I need anything else. I just told you Goodbye, for heavens' sake.

I'm done with you.

Advice Forum Friday - Search Engine...Search.

Hey guys, I'm back with Advice Forum Friday this week, by popular request. I played hooky last week, because I didn't have any burning questions, and because I wondered if anyone would notice.

I do have a question to ask you this week, though, and here's some background. For two years or so I've used Blingo for web searches, because they randomly award prizes as you search. I know this from experience, because only 18 short months ago I won a $50 Amazon Gift Card, just for doing a search I would have been doing anyway.

Note that it was 18 months ago. Yeah, haven't won anything since. And some of the prizes are smaller, like movie tickets and $10 iTunes and such.

Anyway.

My problem is this: For the last little while, all of the searches I do on Blingo (and I do lots of web searches) return at least a page of ads before we get to useful links. And that drives me crazy. It's bad enough that you can't do a search on a doctor or hotel or city without getting a full page of those stupid bogus Docsearch or Cityview or whatever sites.

Yeah, I know I need to relax.

So here's the deal. I've gotten used to the fact that doing searches can win me something or earn me something or whatever. And Google doesn't give me squat. As far as I know, neither does Yahoo.

Do you have a favorite search engine that pays points or contest entries or anything remotely fun?

Or do you think I'm just out of my ever-lovin' mind?

Which if I am, get used to it; I have.

And there's the lovely Mr. Linky down below if you have a question or request to post. Just write the post at your blog and link to it in the Mr. Linky. Bonus points if you link back to me in your post.

In which she loses her self control

I'm a bit embarrassed, y'all. I finally joined the brainwashed masses and bought a Vera Bradley bag.

But I did get a great deal on Ebay.

I've been looking for a lovely laptop bag at a bargain price. Not an easy find, I'll tell ya. But this little puppy fit the bill!

The problem is, now I can't stop looking at the travel bags, wallets and such. I am sticking with Ebay, though. Not sure I'd ever pay full price for one of these babies.

Pray for me.

And for my bank account.

American Idol - April Fool's Day!

Did y'all watch American Idol tonight? Come over to the Entertainment Blog and tell me what you thought!

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Monday, Monday

I love that Big Daddy's days off are Sunday and Monday now. Obviously, working every Saturday presents its own set of problems, but on Sunday nights, when there's no Getting Ready For The Week going on, it seems worth it to me.

So yesterday we finally made it to the YMCA to "work out."

And I put it in quotes because I doubt that many people would consider what I did working out. But I did it, and that's what matters, I guess.

I did one mile on the recumbent bike, and I must be a big old weirdo, because you know what started hurting, y'all? My FEET! My stupid FEET! My legs were sort of tired, but they could have gone another mile at least. But my dogs? They went on strike and refused to peddle another minute. So I couldn't even do treadmill or elliptical, either.

WUSS.

Then yesterday afternoon I had a doctor appointment at 2:30. I got there at 2:15 and y'all, the dadgum waiting room was packed. The receptionist told me the doctor was running behind by about 45 minutes.

No problem at all. I'll just wait in the car and read my James Patterson book. Cause I am all about the popular fiction, and it takes me forever to read a book these days since I only get to read in the restroom.

For the record, pre-children I could read a good book in 2 evenings, MAX. Sitting on the back porch, chain smoking. Now you know one of my deepest, darkest secrets. Smoking on the back porch. And liking it.

But I stopped, so don't quit me, okay?

Anyway, where was I? In the doctor's office parking lot, reading Mary, Mary.

When I went back into the office at around 2:45, No One Had Moved. The waiting room was still full, and the receptionist apologetically asked me if I wanted to reschedule. Sure, no problem.

And as I got back into my car, I realized that I was not one single bit irritated by the fact that I spent almost 2 hours driving 20 miles round-trip and sitting in the doctor's parking lot, for nothing. Know why?

Cause I was ALONE. Which is something I rarely am. I listened to the radio, uninterrupted. I read my book, uninterrupted.

It was a great day.