I'm so nervous I might wet my pants.

Okay, folks, here goes.

I have had this idea for a "blog carnival" for several months now. I really, really love my idea, but have I ever mentioned that I have some fear and anxiety issues? Yeah, I do. And there are a few details that I couldn't quite figure out, but I finally decided to just jump into this thing, and work out the kinks as I go.

How many times have you been stumped, either by your children's behavior, or a household task, or the attitude of the guy at the phone company? And you just want to ask some advice. And maybe you posted it on your blog, but only one or two people had any advice for you. I think Advice Forum Friday can help!

Here's how it will work:

Every Friday, I will host Advice Forum Friday here at Queen of Dirty Laundry.
I will set up a Mr. Linky here. (Note to self: Figure out how to do that.)
You post your dilemma on your blog, then come here and add your link to Mr. Linky.
Then, hopefully, hosts upon hosts of wise bloggy advice-givers will visit my Mr. Linky and run straight out to all the linkees and start dispensing with the valuable advice.

Here are some examples of questions that might be posted:

My 4-year-old is particularly discontented, and nothing seems to keep her attention lately. Any advice?
I have way too much chicken in the freezer, and need some new ideas for how to cook it. Any suggestions?
My floor is dirty 45 minutes after I vacuum it. Any miracle solutions?

So, I think you get the idea. My question to you is, Do You Wanna Play? I'd love to hear your suggestions, I really would! I'm not married to the name or the day, just the concept. And if you have any scathingly brilliant ideas for how to improve upon my plan, and I implement said idea, I will give you full credit, every week, for the foreseeable future. How's that for incentive?

Oh, and I need a button, right? And I have no skills. So...anyone wanna sign up for that? For full credit, every week, for the foreseeable future?

I'm going to stop rambling now, and sit back and wait for the feedback to roll in. So get to rollin'.

62%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Free Online Dating from Mingle²

I got nothin'.

You guys, my brain is dry. I stayed up way too late last night, looking at giveaways and entering oh, so many! I have ideas for new posts, but when I sit down to write them, I just drift back over to Shannon's, and start looking at all the fun stuff again.

So, love ya. Miss ya. Can't seem to take the time to write anything relevant.

But I'll be done soon, maybe. And if all else fails, the giveaways will go away on Friday, so I'll be forced to return to our regularly scheduled programming then.

Later, 'gators.

It's a Giveaway!

Welcome to my very first giveaway! I'm crazy excited to be participating in The Dog Days of Summer Bloggy Giveaway, organized by Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer.

Last month, Big Daddy and I undertook an extremely long road trip, and those events usually go much smoother if I'm looking down at a book rather than up at the traffic. So, off to Mardel for reading material, and here's what I found.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal that yes, I have read this book. So, technically, it's used. But it still works, I promise. And it's very cute, and well traveled.

Here's what Amazon.com has to say about Flabbergasted: A Novel:

"Stockbroker Jay Jarvis just moved east. His dating life's gone south. What else is a guy to do but go fishing?... ''Blackston's light and breezy style makes Flabbergasted an ideal reading choice for a lazy summer night.''--Bookpage. ''Blackston's first novel is refreshingly honest . . . Good writing and an ample dose of humor make this as charming as Bridget Jones' Diary from the male point of view...''--Library Journal. ''A fun, lighthearted and thoroughly enjoyable 'relational gumbo' of a novel . . . quirky and very satisfying, this novel is an excellent debut.''--CCM Magazine."

and also

"Jay Jarvis, a successful stock broker, decides that the best way to meet eligible woman is to join a church singles group. The ensuing misadventures are delightful as Jay meets quirky people, including a Caddie-driving speed demon, an insightful African-American janitor, and. . .the perfect woman. The only problem is that she's a missionary in Ecuador. As Jay becomes a much wiser man, Peterson generously introduces us to a lively menagerie as he recites poetry, delivers chat-up lines, and reads Bible quotes from a surfboard. Old-fashioned charm is still to be found in contemporary America."

All you have to do to win this fun, fun, funny book is leave a comment, and tell me what state you're in. Then on Friday, July 27th, at or around 12:00 noon CST, one of you lovely, sweet and pretty readers will be chosen as THE WINNAH!

And for you overachievers, here's a chance to earn extra credit (and a little extra goody!). I'm entering a homemade ice cream contest at church in a couple of weeks, so I would love to know if any of you have a fabulous recipe. The more unique, the better. Share your recipe in my comments, or just e-mail it to me, and if you win, I'll throw in a little something extra.

Sound good? Great. So leave me a comment, and an ice cream recipe if you have one, and then go on over to Shannon's to check out all the other giveaways.

And if you think my prize is lame, please be kind. I'm new at this giving away of the things.

Hugs and Kisses!

EDITED TO ADD: Don't forget that I need to be able to contact the winner! So if you don't have a blog, please leave an e-mail address. If you're not comfortable doing that, then it will be up to you check back here on Friday and see if you won, since I won't be able to contact you. GOOD LUCK!

Milk. It's what's for breakfast.

5 Minutes for Mom brings us yet another great giveaway and this time it's a doozy! $300 worth of Dairy Products from Horizon Organic.

$300, I tell ya! That's a boat-load of cheese, yogurt, milk, and various tasty dairy delights!

I really need this, guys, cause this family goes through dairy products like...I don't know what...but really, really fast!

Run on over to 5 Minutes for Mom to enter the contest, cause if I don't win, I sure hope you do!

Monk & Neagle - Don't Miss This!

Hey, check out the new Monk & Neagle CD! I am blessed to be receiving a pre-release copy next week, and in the meantime, I've been listening to a few of the songs on the site. Go on over there and take a look, 'kay?

WFMW - Easy Car Freshener

Hey, my internet peeps! Time for another Works-For-Me Wednesday!

Please excuse my use of the word "peeps." I just can't get it out of my head, and I'm hoping that if I use it a really lot, then it will melt or fade or whatever.

So. Take 3 lovely darling girls, one Big Daddy, and a mom who is a Crohn's Disease sufferer (which can sometimes make one a bit...windy), and sometimes my beloved Chevy Uplander can get a bit...well, stank. It's just stank sometimes. And I don't know if it's because there has been too much tootage in the car, or maybe a food product got left in the back, but at times, it has got to be that something crawled up in there and died.

A few weeks ago, we were about to go on a super-long road trip, and I did not want to get into that van smelling that funk, especially in the New Mexico desert, you know? So I got me a brilliant idea.

I had seen, in the deodorizing section of Target, a car air freshener. But as far as I could tell, it was just a clip that holds an old-school Glade Plug-In, but didn't plug into anything. I put my thinking cap on, and here's what I came up with. I took a Glade Plug-In, not Scented Oil or anything fancy, just the old-school gel cartridge. And I peeled off the backing, and here's the brilliant part. I threw it in a cup holder that's right by a window. That's it. Simple brilliance.

The sun hits the gel-like substance, and promotes the lovely fragrancing action. So instead of smelling like rotting food, or feet or poots, now my lovely Chevy Uplander smells like Peach Blossoms or some such. And I am very happy.

Thanks, y'all, for stopping by to check out my grand idea for this week. Hope you liked it. Now hop on over to Rocks in My Dryer for more inspiration.

Men are from one place; Women are from a totally different place.

As if the events of the past two weeks weren't stressful enough, we now have air conditioning problems. Oh, joy. I'd like to give just a little example to illustrate the difference between men and women. Or at least the man and woman who live in this house. If I may.

SCENARIO ONE (7:30 this evening)

A/C REPAIRMAN: So what seems to be the problem?

BIG DADDY: Well, for about the past two years, every now and then, I'll have to go out there and clear out the condensate line, you know, cause it gets stopped up and water goes all over the place. And it's been getting a little bit worse all the time. So yesterday, when I got home from work - did I tell you I'm a plumber? - my wife told me there was water all over the place, and there was, in the garage floor and also in the laundry room. So I went over there and opened the door and got my air compressor all ready to blow out the condensate line, but then I realized...blah blah blah...THIS IS WHERE I LEFT THE ROOM SO THAT I WOULDN'T GO OVER THERE AND HIT HIM IN THE HEAD.

*****************

SCENARIO TWO (1:00 p.m., 2:00 p.m., 4:00 p.m., and 845 times over the phone)

A/C REPAIRMAN: So what seems to be the problem?

ME: It's leaking. My husband said the drain pan is rusted out. Wanna see?


DISCLAIMER: This post has been reviewed and approved by Big Daddy. He laughed.

The Facts of Life, Part...Three?

I'm wrestling with Tink, and here's what I hear:

"Hey, you got my w**nie!"

...DEAD SILENCE, THEN CRICKETS CHIRPING...

Me: Uh, what are you calling a w**nie?

Tink: My bottom?

Well, crap. So I had to have the w**nie conversation, explain that she doesn't have one, and my 6-year-old knew much more about boys' equipment than I realized or am comfortable with. Can't those little Kindergarten boys keep their business to themselves?

I think I did a good job of explaining it all, and yes, I used the proper terms and everything. When Tink looked confused, I even used a small flashlight as a prop and demonstrated how boys go to the bathroom. See my level of dedication?

Then Scooter came up while we were talking, and you should have seen their faces when they realized that Yep, their Daddy is a boy, and he has one, too.

Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment in what is apparently becoming a serial.

Confirmation

How's this for another good reason to homeschool? I realize that no one's perfect, but shouldn't teachers be pretty close? At least academically?

Thank goodness I'm just PG

Apparently, the fact that I say crap and...cover the children's ears...DEAD, earns me a PG rating. Some material may not be suitable for children.

Well crap, cause I have children, and I say crap and dead almost every day. Do you think they can still grow up to be president some day? Or a flight attendant?

Oh, I just realized that Mingle is a site for Free Online Dating. Which I'm not necessarily endorsing. I'm just sayin'.

WFMW - Fantasy Football

This is an out of the ordinary topic for WFMW, but I've got a great suggestion for a fun activity you and the hubby can do together. You’ve heard of Fantasy Football, right? That weird thing that men do in the fall that we don't really understand? Well, y’all, I got tired of not understanding it, so I decided to try it. And guess what? Fantasy Football is a lot of fun, and a great way to spend time with the hubby.

Our church has a Fantasy Football league, and Big Daddy played for two or three years before I decided to take the plunge and join in. I did pretty good my rookie year; I didn’t make the playoffs, but I had oodles of fun. Oh, and I won a prize for Best Team Name – Queen of Dirty Laundry!

Fantasy Football in a nutshell: You act as the General Manager of an NFL football team. You choose your team by drafting players who you think will have successful years, and you compete weekly against other GMs in your league with a points-based scoring system.

There are tons of websites out there that help you decide which players to draft; and in what order. These websites will even advise you which players to play each week, which is useful for me, since I tend to over analyze everything and would never finish my roster every week unless I got some advice from somewhere.

For me, the best thing about FFL is that Big Daddy loves it, and now we can do it together. Sundays during football season are spent in front of the TV and the computer, tracking our players and talking trash. And you know, that’s what it’s all about, talking trash with my true love.

So, when Fall rolls around and your darling starts talking about that weird Fantasy Football stuff, say, “Hey, honey, count me in!” Works for Me.

If you're looking for more mainstream suggestions, hop on over to Shannon's and check it out!

8 Random Things

I have been tagged by Kristen to do the 8 Random Facts Meme. The rules as I understand them are:

~I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.

~I share eight random facts about myself.

~At the end of the post, I tag eight more bloggers (Man, that's a lot!)

~I then leave a comment for my taggees, telling them they're tagged.

~And I'll go ahead and try to make these Random Facts here things that you may not already know about me.


So here I go with the randomness.


1. I am moderately germophobic. This is mostly in relation to public restrooms, restaurants, and my kids' pee.

2. I have anxiety issues when meeting new people or going into unknown or new situations.

3. I am a very big Elvis fan, but I don't have tons of memorabilia or anything. I just love his music, and yes, even his movies. Viva Las Vegas is my favorite Elvis movie, and An American Trilogy is my favorite Elvis song.

4. Big Daddy and I lost our first little house (duplex) in a fire. It was scary and traumatic.

5. I would love to get a tattoo, but I'm afraid of the pain, and even more afraid that the artist would do a bad job and I'd be stuck with it.

6. I am completely in love with Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. Or addicted. Whatever.

7. I hope that one day they actually create a virtual reality machine like in the sci fi books. And that I can afford it. I have two VR wishes: To sit at my grandmother's table and talk to her while she makes banana pudding. And to go see Elvis Presley at the Las Vegas International in the early 70's. With Big Daddy.

8. I can't stand for anything sticky to be on me, especially on my hands/fingers. Drives me crazy.

Okay, so there you have it. Eight random, and somewhat weird things about me. So who do I tag? Gah! How about anyone who reads this and needs some blog fodder.

And will you do me a favor, and leave me a comment if you identify with any of my randomness? So I don't feel quite so bizarre?

Thanks!

The Walking Wounded

Friday evening, before I made the fated phone call that started the weekend from heck, we were at our friends' house, having a wonderful, relaxing evening. We enjoyed a delicious brisket prepared by our hosts, and the children had a fabulous time playing outside in the back yard.

Until the blood curdling screams began.

I could tell it was Scooter, and was fairly sure it was a hurt scream and not a pissed off scream. BD hit the door running, and by the time I got to the back porch, all I saw was a blood-covered Scooter Pie. My poor baby walked in front of the swing at exactly the wrong time, and Tink kneed her right in the mouth.

Did I mention she was covered in blood? She was, y'all. Her face, her hair, her shirt, and her arms. Covered. In. Blood. I am happy to report that blood does not adversely affect me. Thank Goodness.

Let me tell you about my tough little girl. Before we had her clean enough to come in the house, she had stopped screaming. By the time we got her in the bathroom to check out the damage, she had completely stopped crying. We got her clothes changed and sent her into the living room to rest with Daddy, and by the time I made it into the living room, she was outside again.

Tough Girl.

I am happy to report that no teeth were loosened, but she took a nasty gash to the inside of her mouth. It's getting better every day, though.

I repeat, Tough Girl.

Well, it has been one heck of a weekend, and in an effort to keep my mind occupied and my house in order, I thought I'd try to get back to Menu Plan Monday. Here's this week's effort.

Monday
Baby Back Ribs
Big Daddy smoked these over the weekend; all I have to do is reheat. Thanks, honey.

Tuesday
Beanie Weenies

BD and I have to go to a leadership meeting at church, so I'm making something quick for the girls to eat before Grammy and Grandaddy come to stay with them.

Wednesday
Chicken Tacos or Chicken Parmigiana

Depends on how I'm feeling; I have the ingredients for both.

Thursday
Beans and Rice
Cornbread

Friday
Mexican Salad
Chips and Salsa

Saturday
Big Daddy will be leaving on a jet plane, and I'll probably let my darlings eat whatever they want, cause sometimes I'm irresponsible like that.

Sunday
Spaghetti and Meat Sauce/Meatballs
Garlic Toast

Mucho Thanks to Laura at I'm an Organizing Junkie for hosting Menu Plan Monday. I always get such good ideas from the participants!

Have a great week, y'all!

It's an honor just to be nominated.

Look, y'all. I'm a Rockin' Girl Blogger. At least, Roses are Red, Violets are Violet thinks so. She honored me with a shout out last Friday, and it's taken me a whole week to "announce" it on my own blog, cause I'm all "Aw, Shucks" about it. I feel sort of silly, because I'm so very excited to finally receive one of these fun awards. What a goofball I am. A thrilled goofball.

Anyway. Here's the really fun part. I get to tell you who I think should also receive the title of Rockin' Girl Blogger. In no specific order.

DeeDee at It Coulda' Been Worse cracks me up all the time, except when she's inspiring me. I know I'm always gonna get something good when I visit her blog.

And then there's Jennifer at Chronicles of a Night Owl. I just love reading about her everyday life and her sweet, sweet kids. Plus she always leaves me the sweetest comments ;)

And no one is more rockin' than my good friend, the Redneck Diva. You can't get more real than this hilarious Oklahoma momma. She's sweet, she's a smart aleck, she's down-to-earth, and she's dadgum funny, too.

Finally, even though these ladies have already received kudos, I'll give 'em a shout-out, too, cause they give me something useful, funny, inspirational, or otherwise fabulous to read every day. I'm talking about Laura, the Organizing Junkie and Katherine at Raising Five.

There are so many fun or touching or inspiring blogs out there, and I know that I've totally left out someone important, which is why I've waited all week to write this post.

Because you all rock.

Happy 5th of July!

It's July 5, and boy, am I having trouble recovering! We went and watched fireworks with friends last night, and didn't get home until around midnight.

For some reason, Big Daddy and I are physically unable to come home and go straight to bed, so it was closer to 2 a.m. before we went to sleep. 6:00 came mighty early this morning! I did cheat and go back to bed after BD left for work, though, and got up again at 9:00.

So, the fireworks. Because I hate crowds, we usually try to find a parking lot near the fireworks location we've chosen. And we get there early. And by the time the fireworks start, there is also a crowd where we are. No problem usually, but last night, y'all, people were just pulling into this parking lot all willy nilly, and blocking the exits and aisles, and more importantly, blocking our view. We were not happy campers. But we had a choice. We could pout about the blockers, or we could enjoy time with our friends and stretch our necks to see the fireworks.

Guess which choice our guys chose. Sigh.

But the fireworks were beautiful and the girls just loved them, and BD's mood improved as soon as we got out of that parking lot.

All in all, we had a most wonderful Independence Day, and I am thankful for that.

Money, money, money...no money?

I still want to write some more about our trip last weekend, but right now, I'm going a different direction.

Big Daddy and I, along with lots of people we know, are on very tight budgets these days. In my case, I know exactly what needs to be done to improve our situation, but I don't always do it. But sometimes, I hear or read stories like this, and I just can't understand it.

There are no magic pills; there are no quick fixes. It's just like dieting; we got ourselves here, now we have to get ourselves out.

So, we are about to get zero tolerance on spending over here in the Dirty Laundry household. I may talk about it some here on my sweet little blog, because to tell you the truth, when I'm really committed, I enjoy being frugal. It's kind of exciting to me. Cause I'm a big freak like that.

So, I'm bookmarking articles and posts like this one from Jeana, and I'm gonna get back on the wagon with ordering from Angel Food Ministries, and get reacquainted with CVS and Walgreen, and I am gonna get this crap under control.

As always, I will keep you posted.

Random Thoughts

In case I haven't told you, Big Daddy and I took Pooh to NM, where Grandpa met us and took her home to spend some time in San Diego. My mind is still spinning from our whirlwind weekend, but I would just like to share a few thoughts with you.

• My 7-year-old lost her ever-lovin' mind when she arrived in California. I think Nana found it and smacked her in the face with it. I'll keep you posted.
• Trent, Texas is the Home of the Gorillas. There's a sign that says so.
• The Wal-Mart in Pecos, Texas does not have a deli. Big Daddy was surprised at this fact. I was not.
• 4- and 6-year-olds who have eaten fast food for lunch three days in a row (Thanks, Grammy and Grandaddy!) will not be thankful to eat peanut butter sandwiches or ramen noodles when their parents return home.
• It is my personal opinion that wearing a bikini at White Sands National Monument is very weird, and possibly inappropriate. Look around, chick. There is no water. Yes, there is sand, but NO WATER.
• I hate the bullet function of Blogger. It just never works right for me. It can't be operator error. It just can't.

That's all I've got for now.

My butt hurts.

Y'all. I have just spent 3 days in a car. My butt and lower back will never be the same.

Just a brief synopsis before I get in my very own, dearly beloved bed.

Friday - Fort Worth to Deming, New Mexico.

Saturday - Deming to Las Cruces to Ruidoso, to oh, why don't we go on up to Albuquerque?

Sunday - Albuquerque to Fort Worth

I have had quite a weekend. And I will tell you more about it in detail in the next few days. But for now, I would like to lay down.

That is all.